Confessions of a certified over-thinker x

This is a confession that I hardly have to make, because
those close to me know very well that each and every decision I make has likely
been over-thought to the n-th degree. From what I decide to eat, to more important
decisions such as what I have decided to wear (I’m being sarcastic here), a
lengthy procedure whereby pros and cons have to be considered, and every
possible outcome has to be imagined in my head, you know, just to limit the
risk of making a bad decision.

Although thinking things through is something that I would
recommend for anyone and everyone prior to making life changing decisions, one
has to admit that there are only so many risks that any person can foresee and
avoid. One also has to admit that the excitement and appreciation for life is
greatly limited to a large extent when we overthink certain decisions. My
biggest struggle in life has always been ‘free-falling’ into anything,
especially if there isn’t a guarantee of a trusty piece of cushioning at the
bottom of that fall. That particular cushioning that I am referring to happens
to be labeled, ‘Security’. And the truth is, many of us are unlikely to enter
into anything that lacks security, because we have been taught by society, and
all of those around us, that where the risk is too high, no amount of return
can compensate the loss of one’s dignity, pride, or broken heart.
As I type this post out in my newly discovered coffee shop,
I am sitting next to two people who are chatting loudly about investments and
things alike. Although I have to admit to having switched my interest off after
hearing a few phrases here and there, I definitely know an investor’s proposal
when I hear one. I couldn’t help but imagine the amount of skepticism I would have
if I myself were presented with any investment opportunity, having ‘The Wolf of
Wall Street’ partly to blame, but owing much of my lack of trust due to bad
personal experiences in the past. Although I didn’t lose any money, or any
material item for that matter, I do think that I made the mistake of allowing
the bad experiences take away my desire to take risks, regardless of the return
that was promised.
Be it in the scheme of a career, or perhaps even our
personal lives and the relationships that surround us, it is far easier to fall
prey to the belief that if something in this world isn’t certain to the point
that it can be written in the sky, it should be approached with the same
caution one would approach an untamed lion in it’s den: which is to watch and admire it
from afar. This mentality and school of thought has infiltrated our society,
and instead of it teaching us to make smart and calculated decisions where they
need to be made, they have taught some of us to doubt anything and everything
that comes before us, trusting nothing more than certainty, and disregarding
the fact that almost nothing in life is ever certain.
Although I don’t like being an over-thinker, I’ve learnt
through it, that in life you will always find what you are looking for. If you
are looking for a fault in someone, you will find it. If you are looking for
reasons to not pursue your ambitions, you’re almost guaranteed to find it. And
if you’re looking for reasons to build the wall of China around your heart,
you’re also guaranteed to find that, along with someone to hand you the bricks
to build it, if you aren’t already doing that yourself. However, perhaps life isn’t about
finding ways to circumvent all of the things that could possibly go wrong, but
rather about acknowledging all of the things that might go wrong and choosing
to pursue something with the hopes that things will go right.
Overthinking things, whatever they may be, has yet to serve
any purpose in my life (aside for bringing me the inspiration to write this
post). I think that I am finally ready to hand back the degree that I attained at the ‘University of Overthinking’, strip myself of that qualification and start
living in the moment, without writing out a list of pros and cons. Although it
may be a mission in itself to stop my all-time favourite activity, I know that
it’s worth the attempt, and hopefully, some of my fellow over-thinkers will be
inspired to let those tendencies go too.
X

Thulz

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